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FORWARD FUN
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Love 'em or hate 'em, we all get 'em.
Sometimes they're funny. Sometimes they're heart-warming.
Sometimes they're downright stupid.
Even if you say you hate them, chances are that you've gotten
some that you really loved and had to forward to all of your friends.
And if you're like me, you've deleted one and wished at a
later date that you could remember the punch line.
This site is a collection of some of the best forwards that
I've received recently. If you don't see your favorite here, please send it to me. mailto:urmakinmelaugh@aol.com
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TO BE SIX AGAIN
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.
"I'd love to be
six again," she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he arose early,
got up made her a nice big bowl of Lucky
Charms and then took
her off to the local theme park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park: the
Death
Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller
Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later she staggered
out of the theme park.
Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's
where her loving
husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a
refreshing chocolate shake.
Then it
was off to a movie to see the latest blockbuster, a
hot-dog, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's.
What
a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into
bed exhausted.
He leaned
over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly
asked, "Well, Dear, what was it like being six again?"
Her
eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
Honey, I meant my dress size!"
Subject: Worst Day of My Life
This little guy has been sitting at the bar just staring at his drink
He's been
sitting there for half an hour when this big trouble-making truck driver
steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig.
The poor little guy starts crying.
"Come on man, I was just giving
you a hard time," says the truck driver. "I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
"This
is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can't do
anything right. I overslept and was late
to an important meeting, so
my boss fired me.
When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen
and I have no insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after the cab left, I discovered I had forgotten my wallet
in it.
At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener. So I came to this bar and was thinking about putting
an end to my life, and you show up and drink the poison."
IRAQ
-- VERY INTERESTING -- DID YOU KNOW?
1. The garden of Eden
was in Iraq. (It sure doesn't look much like Paradise on earth today thanks to Saddam)
2. Mesopotamia which is
now Iraq was the cradle of civilization!
3. Noah built the ark in Iraq.
4. The Tower
of Babel was in Iraq.
5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern
Iraq.
6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor which is in Iraq.
7. Jacob met Rachel in
Iraq.
8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq.
9.
Assyria which is in Iraq conquered the ten tribes of Israel.
10. Amos cried
out in Iraq.
11. Babylon which is in Iraq destroyed Jerusalem.
12.
Daniel was in the lion's den in Iraq.
13. The 3 Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq (That's
good news to know that JESUS has been in Iraq too as the 4th person in the fiery furnace)
14. Belshazzar, the
King of Babylon saw the "writing on the wall" in Iraq.
15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews
captive into Iraq.
16. Ezekiel preached in Iraq.
17. The wise men were from
Iraq. (where are the "wise" men today?)
18. Peter preached in Iraq.
19. The "Empire
of Man" described in Revelation is called Babylon which was a city in Iraq.
And you have
probably seen this one.
Israel is the nation
most often mentioned in the Bible. But do you know which nation is second? It is Iraq. However, that is not
the name that is used in the Bible. The names used in the Bible are Babylon, Land of Shinar, and Mesopotamia. The word
Mesopotamia means between the two rivers, more exactly between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. The name
Iraq means country with deep roots. Indeed Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very significant country
in the Bible. Here's why.
* Eden was in Iraq -- Genesis 2:10-14
* Adam &Eve were created in Iraq -- Genesis
2:7-8
* Satan made his first recorded appearance in Iraq -- Genesis 3:1-6
* Nimrod established Babylon &Tower of
Babel was built in Iraq -- Genesis 10:8-97; 11:1-4
* The confusion of the languages took
place in Iraq -- Genesis 11:5-11
* Abraham came from a city in Iraq -- Genesis 11:31; Acts 7:2-4
* Isaac's bride came from Iraq -- Genesis 24:3-4;
10
* Jacob spent 20 years in Iraq -- Genesis 27:42-45; 31:38
* The first world Empire was in Iraq -- Daniel
1:1-2;2:36-38
* The greatest revival in history was in a city in Iraq -- Jonah 3
* The events of the
book of Esther took place in Iraq -- Esther
* The book of Nahum was a prophecy against a city in Iraq -- Nahum
*
The book or Revelation has prophecies against Babylon, which was the old name for the nation of Iraq -- Revelation
17 &18
No other nation, except Israel, has more history and prophecy associated it than Iraq.
And also...
This is something to think about! Since America is typically represented by an eagle. Saddam should have read up on his Muslim passages...
The following verse is from the Quran, (the Islamic Bible)
Quran (9:11) -- For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken
a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled
in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.
(Note the
verse number...)
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
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This one of those things that really works. Try it.
P lace your mouse on the X below and drag to the O.
X Even though you can't
see Him, GOD is thereO
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It was late at night and Heidi, who was expecting her second child,
was home alone with her 3-year old daughter, Katelyn. When Heidi started to go into labor she called
"911".
Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call.
The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while
he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked.
Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted him by his feet, and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic
then thanked Katelyn for her help, asked the wide eyed 3-year old Katelyn what she thought about
what she had just witnessed.
Katelyn quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in
the first place. Spank him again!"
=========================================================
Two WalMart greeters were sitting on bench during break. One turns to
the other asking,
"Slim, I'm 75 years old and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you are
about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a new born babe."
Rather amazed his co-worker
repeats his statement in the form of a question,
"Really? A new born babe???"
"Yup", grins Slim, "No teeth,
no hair and I'm pretty sure I just wet my pants."
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Some amusement for your day.....
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual
leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH
A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded
himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in
the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two
different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4.
THE SLOW GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently,
the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up
and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't
control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words: "Give me all your money
or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "that's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into
the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven
Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger
to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.(hellllllooooooo?)
8. THE GRAND FINALE
Last
summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield California, some folks, new to boating,
were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft boat going. It was very sluggish
in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what
was wrong. A thorough top side check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive
went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch.
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to
check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER ... THIS IS TRUE! Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
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to submit your favorite quote, click here
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